Hey everyone,

Wow, it HAS been a long time... well, I owe all of you an explanation, especially those who have sent me worried messages the past few months, so I'm going to break my usually undershare approach to journal writing and give you an honest response.

The past few months have been hectic. My job has kept me rammed most days, and the obligations of life got in the way. I've battled with depression for years of my life (but who hasn't?) and coming back on DA for my fanfic updates really helped inspire me and keep me running on full.

But slowly, the inspiration died. It's not like I haven't wanted to write - I still thought about my characters and the story as much as I ever did, and when I stopped writing I missed it. But when I was being swallowed by my emotions to the point of hopelessness, not even my love of Pokemon and writing could keep me coming back. I just ran dry of motivation.

My current situation - I'm still in the same house I shared with my partner, but we broke up a few months ago. The transition from relationship to housemates wasn't smooth, and he's not making things easy for me. I'm sleeping on a mattress on the floor in a box room dealing with a daily grind of shit that's led to my council begging me to move into sheltered accomodation (and I'll say no more on that subject, other than I don't class myself as an abuse victim, and there are other people who need that resource more than I do).

I'm waiting to move out, slowly packing my belongings into boxes that work has continuallysupplied for the past month and a half whenever a decent one turns up. I'll be taking no real furniture with me, just an odd table or two and a bedside chest of drawers, and I won't be recieving anything back from the deposit. On the upside, I leave behind the debt I partially helped build up, but he started long before we got together and he's continuing to rack up now we're seprated. I feel no guilt over this, just relief it's not mine, and even if I have nothing to my name it means that the nothing I have is still mine, and nobody;s taking that away.

As you can see, it's not a very "writeable" environment. But I'm trying to get my life back a l;ittle bit at a time, and I'm beginning to really miss DA. So I'm going to try to come back, start writing again, and hopefully rescue poor Soph and Jade from that bloody Zapdos!

If I ever dissapear again, please don't worry. It happens when things get rough, but I'll always come back in the end.

Thanks for the concern, it really means a lot. And I've missed you too ^^

Kirsty xxx